you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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