yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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