umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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