Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
