i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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