He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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