What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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