Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just puked most of my soul out..
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