he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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