He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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