dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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