I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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