doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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