My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
