I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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