end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
