Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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