Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
