i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
