omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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