Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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