Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
