therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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