So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think we might need a safe word for this...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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