Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize