I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
