There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
