I heard we made out
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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