Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
