Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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