I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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