Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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