Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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