So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She bit a glass in half.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
