I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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