I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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