Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize