Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize