Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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