So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
