I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
