In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
