Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
