do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
