Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
