How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
