SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
