You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
