Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
