I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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