She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
