you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
