Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
