in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
