the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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