My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
