Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
