he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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