Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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