Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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