she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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