Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
