she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
