i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
