I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
