YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
