i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
