loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
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Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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