whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
