first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If its not for food we ain't going out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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