Your face is a jimmy john
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I look better un-naked...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
