but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
