I am full of burrito and curiosity
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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