I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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