The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
