You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
